A rocky street for mom and daughter

I’ve an identical problem with my 26-year-old daughter who lives with me after my current divorce. Lengthy story quick, my daughter and I’ve had a tumultuous relationship since she was about 12. Each time she likes a man or will get consideration from a man, she’s actually nasty to me, like she doesn’t want me or one thing.

I had her once I was 16, so we virtually grew up collectively. I really feel like I used to be an honest mum or dad and did one of the best I may. Seven years in the past, she was in a poisonous relationship with a person, and so they broke up after a three-year relationship. She has not gotten over this, and it was an enormous downside for a minimum of two years after the breakup as a result of she was nonetheless backwards and forwards with him (and I feel nonetheless is).

Not too long ago, I received divorced from her stepfather. I used to be seeing somebody who I had a serious blowout with after which made up and have become mates with. My daughter despises this man and states I can’t also have a friendship with him. She says he’s not allowed right here and, in a single occasion, got here dwelling and instructed him to go away as quickly as she noticed him.

She actually put me down afterward. She instructed me that he was ruining our relationship. I’ve been open and sincere along with her that our relationship has at all times had its ups and downs. I instructed her that I will be mates with whoever I would like. I requested her to go to remedy with me, however she adamantly refused. I’ve misplaced hope. Please assist! — Feeling Hopeless

Expensive Feeling Hopeless: Maybe what you and your daughter want is a while and area from each other. At 26 years outdated, your daughter is an grownup and hopefully previous the purpose of needing to stay below your roof. You definitely don’t want her dictating who you’ll be able to and may’t spend time with or placing you down for the alternatives you make.

Encourage your daughter to search for a spot of her personal. Strengthening a relationship like this takes time and loads of endurance, however with the added distance, each of your hearts might develop fonder of one another. And simply because your daughter has refused to enter remedy with you doesn’t imply you’ll be able to’t go by yourself. Take the time to heal and work by your private journey; you owe it to your self.

Expensive Annie: After two lengthy years, my sister and her household have rented a seashore home for us to take a weeklong journey collectively in August. We’re all in our late 50s, and her youngsters are of their late 20s. Our kids and grandchildren gained’t be occurring the journey.

Throughout COVID, I ended shaving my arms, legs, the entire bit. My husband and I are fairly comfy with it. Ought to I shave for the week or be ready for the appears and questions? — Completely satisfied To Be Bushy

Expensive Completely satisfied To Be Bushy: Don’t really feel pressured to evolve to hairlessness once more if that’s not what floats your boat. You’ll be surrounded by household in a protected, loving area the place I doubt anybody minds what you appear to be — or what you shave. If you happen to really feel actually comfy and assured in your pores and skin, hair and all, it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks.